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Creativity IS a Spiritual Practice

When we see through our hearts, we recognize that every single one of us is infused with creativity. Divine Sparks are embedded in everyone and everything. It's up to us to be courageous, to look and listen deeply, to find the sparks, gather and release them back into the universe, transformed into something new. Join me as we wake up to the sacred-ordinary blessings waiting to greet us each and every day.

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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Doors


Dalet
...the Hebrew letter that shares the same root as the word Delet (Door), looks a lot like the frame of a door.

I remember as a very young child that my older sister’s best friend Kim had a board-game version of the TV show “The Dating Game”. In my foggy memory I think the doors were different colors and each had a question mark on it. They were plastic doors that you could open and close. I must have been maybe 3 or 4 years old…it was a very long time ago, so I might be making this up…but I loved that the doors opened and closed. They were tiny and perfect for my toddler-sized hands to manipulate. Doors still hold a fascination for me.

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Doors. The mere idea of a door, of an entry, a passage, a portal to possibility; all words to worlds that might evoke curiosity, angst, excitement or longing with equal measure, begs for a question mark upon it. We wonder what's behind the door? Would it be better if it remained closed? Is there something of value behind it? Does it divide us from a place, time, experience that could offer us hope, healing or horror?

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It's true, doors can separate us. But doors can also connect us. A door can be an entry or an exit, or perhaps a passageway to freedom. A door might disclose a treasure trove of riches, tangible or spiritual-splendid to behold. A door could protect a secret we must promise to never reveal.

We can lean against a door, pausing before turning the knob….or knock softly and wait for someone else to open the door for us. We can be bold and enter with complete confidence, or gather up all of our courage and step through with trepidation (which in my opinion does not diminish our dauntlessness in the least). Fear, hesitation, caution all protect us from danger…and yet entering an unfamiliar space, a new frontier in our life’s experience is pretty much the only way to move forward. Then again, closing a door can propel us into the future as well. Stepping back in time may be a desire, but we really can’t return…for we are different now and that would alter the past and be pointless.
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Now there is always the question of which door to open, when there are several to choose from. Or which door to close. This of course complicates matters. Well, life is complex, and choices are abundant. Mistakes might happen…but I really believe that they (mistakes) are simply other doorways we hadn’t expected to enter; doors that will lead us to surprising opportunities where just about anything can happen!

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Perhaps it’s best just to pick the door with the color you are drawn to…the one that appeals to your heart…place a hand on the knob…close your eyes…listen for the click of the lock releasing…push gently…now open your eyes and walk on in (or out).

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Will the door you open reveal new creative possibilities you hadn’t dreamed of before? Will closing a door allow for the sacred time and space your soul is longing for? How will stepping over the threshold in either direction reshape the relationships in your life?
Some of you know already that I will be limping with my cane, if I'm up to it or rolling in my wheel chair, if I'm not, through the door of an infusion center in two weeks to receive Tysabri...a medication that could potentially allow me to walk with ease once again...maybe even dance at Rosie's Bat Mitzvah next summer...

What door will you be opening or closing today, or one day soon?

I'd love to hear about your adventures...if you are feeling especially brave, share your door story in the comments section below, or e-mail me your tale privately. I promise to cheer you on, what ever choice you make about the door you are facing, just as you have all been here encouraging me. (I truly feel your presence with every comment and personal reply you offer)

Gentle steps...always,
Laura

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I had this post I prepared to send out into the blogosphere today...all about Doors...I was psyched when I finished it last night intending to post it this morning...and here I am faced with an unexpected door...the door to my voice, seems to be opening and closing at random. It has been getting more unpredictable over the past few days. Today my speech is nearly unintelligible. I am so grateful to have this blog...a way to express myself with clarity! We are waiting to hear from the doctor right now...does she want to see me today (hear me)...will she want to start me on iv steroids asap? Hard to know because I'm supposed to start Tysabri in 2 weeks and it's not clear to me if I can be on both at once, I think perhaps not because it would leave me at greater risk for severe infections (like PML...the brain infection...not to mention many other possibilities) I finally received my H1N1 vax yesterday...so it isn't even working yet (takes about, yup, 2 weeks) Maybe they will hold of on the Tysabri if they start steroids? Maybe they won't start steroids, and we'll tough it out for a few more weeks and hope that other things don't get worse too?
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So with Faith as always I send this out into the bloggy Universe with a prayer for healing for myself and all beings.

7 comments:

  1. Hi Laura,

    Did you hear back from the doctor? I hope that you were able to see her and that your speech has improved. You are always in my prayers and I hope that you can still start the Tysabri.

    At this moment, there is no sense talking about my door....I am more concerned about you.

    Love and blessings,
    Nadia - Happy Lotus

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  3. Nadia,
    You are such a sweetie! So we will start the steroids tomorrow and the Tysabri next week...it will be ok. Two docs checked in on me today. A very long appointment. My cerebellum is more involved now, that's what is causing the speech difficulty.

    It will all be ok.

    If you want to share your door story...I'm all ears/heart...I think we are all on this planet to be present to each other...just because I am sick right now and struggling a bit, that doesn't take away my ability to listen (well as long as my hearing is functioning, and since this is typed and my eyes are working well again...no worries!) and this is heart listening...more than just ears.

    Been an incredibly long day...going to sleep soon...thank you so much for your concern...someday maybe we will meet in person...I would love that.

    xoxox

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  4. Dear Laura, I love your meditation on doors, all the questions you raise, and possibilities you remind me exist. It seems each choice we make is a threshold crossed, another door opened or closed.
    This adventure we are on with our bodies often leads to choosing from several doors in colors that have no appeal!! and I find as soon as I feel confident that I'm gripping the best door knob possible, another door suddenly appears, wide open anticipating my entry, reminding me that everything is shifting and changing, no decision I make permanent.

    Here you are, hand on door knob ready to have your infusion, and suddenly your voice... For me, the timing of these things, when they happen, is baffling. To keep going, I find myself repeating over and over, "all is well always, all is well always..." While I don't know you well, what I do know is I am inspired by how you consistently resonate faith and a quiet wisdom that feels as though it comes from deep. I trust that you will be given the information you need to move forward in the best way possible. I can't help hoping that your speech loss is transitory and you will be able to receive the infusion as planned.

    Sending healing thoughts your way, and gratitude that you have this format to communicate and share your experiences, both for yourself, and us who visit. Blessings and love to you, Karin

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  5. Thank you Karin for your kind words...I love what you said here: "reminding me that everything is shifting and changing, no decision I make permanent." This is such a fundamental TRUTH! I was reminded yesterday of a quote from my meditation teacher...."Temporarily Unexpectedly"...it comes from a story she shared about her mother who was suffering from dementia in a nursing home...it was this clear voice from her mother's wisdom speaking from the chaos of her altered mind.

    I am hoping that the steroids I'll start later today or tomorrow and the new drug tysabri will help bring my voice back to what it was, but if it doesn't that's ok too...I am learning to enjoy the new pitch, the simpler sentence structure that I must now use to communicate.

    I will blog about this soon, I'm sure. I just finished a wonderful spiritual direction session that allowed a wealth of insights to arise...even with my garbled, drunken toddler, pigeon English speech...we were able to communicate with clarity...All is well indeed.

    gentle steps,
    Laura

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  6. this quote comes from a friend who wishes to remain anonymous but wanted me to post her quote about doors.
    "when we were looking to adopt our children and were involved with as adoption support group called the Open Door Society. Here's the quote, attributed to Helen Keller: 'When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.' At first I wasn't sure if it fit in with your situation, so I didn't mention it. But now I am thinking that it does---I think you're quickly finding the open door(s) and daring to go through them.

    Wishing continued sunshine for you today,"
    R.

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  7. Good news, I asked my sister this weekend about the game board...exactly as I remembered it-Whew!

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