I waiting for MRI….in the waiting room theme from Rocky playing on the radio…crack me up. That’s me the champ going to roll up to the MRI machine like a real fighter, (LOL).
The rest is written from memory...too busy to write during time my sister here. So go figure it take 3 time to get needle into my vein to give me contrast dye for MRI…poor young technician, sweetest young man feel terrible…I tell him it ok..I have Kevlar veins, not his fault! I make him laugh. When I meet my sister again in waiting room she tell me the music stuck on loop…play theme from Rocky whole 3 hours she wait for me…like torture! We laugh so hard! We originally from Philadelphia so even funnier imagining her pushing me up stairs to Philadelphia Art Museum in my wheelchair…might have taken her 3 hours!!!!! (unlike Sylvester Stallone) Then we go stop have lunch…I decide I want to stretch after sitting in wheelchair and then laying on MRI table so long, so I use my cane and walk slowly. I look on ground (always look at ground if I use my cane, be careful not to fall) I find a penny pick it up give it to her to give her daughter, because my niece always find money on the ground and it a family joke.
(skip ahead for just a moment to Saturday morning)
Next day I receive a lovely story from my friend Noreen about a wealthy man who find penny on the ground and the woman he with not understand why wealthy man bother to pick up a dirty penny from the ground…here is explanation: "Look at it." He said. "Read what it says." She read the words " United States of America " "No, not that; read further." "One cent?" "No, keep reading." "In God we Trust?" "Yes!" "And?" "And if I trust in God, the name of God is holy, even on a coin. Whenever I find a coin I see that inscription. It is written on every single United States coin, but we never seem to notice it! God drops a message right in front of me telling me to trust Him? Who am I to pass it by? When I see a coin, I pray, I stop to see if my trust IS in God at that moment.. I pick the coin up as a response to God; that I do trust in Him. For a short time, at least, I cherish it as if it were gold. I think it is God's way of starting a conversation with me. Lucky for me, God is patient and pennies are plentiful! …
(Back to Friday)
This makes my penny find even more amazing because a few minutes later we would be at the infusion center and God was telling me, not to worry...and I did feel safe...even though I didn't read the words In God We (I) Trust on the penny...I just had faith anyway.
We get home to my house 6:30pm. Really long day. The whole time we at the infusion center, my sister and I go back through memory lane…so much fun we go through a list in our minds and aloud all the TV shows we watched as kids, what were our favorites. We remember lots of things about being children. It was such a comfort and joy to just remember together. We not spend time alone together in many years because we both have kids and whenever we get together (every summer and sometimes on holidays) so many other people, around... our children, our siblings, parents, cousins, nieces, nephew…so this really unique since before we were married. This sister, Amy is 5 years older than me, I always look up to her when I was a child, but then in college I was at Temple University and she in Medical School at Hahnemann right down Broad Street in Philadelphia…so then we become even closer, then when little kids. Our children are close together in ages too. But we moved away 10 years ago to NH so this was really amazing to just be two of us for 12 hours of my medical treatments!
(Looking back Saturday through Sunday)
Next day, she help me organize my bedroom and make it more pleasant…(I am not the most organized, neat person, I suppose my excuse is that I am an artist by nature. Also, just a bit lazy, and living with chronic fatigue for so many years, perfect house a deep desire, but ultimately not a high priority. Last year when I was sick for 5 months I could do nothing to get house in order, because of vestibular issues. In the summer when I felt well for 7 weeks, I chose not to deal with organizing the house, because my kids were on vacation from school and it was more important to spend every waking moment enjoying life with them....I figured, once they started school I'd have plenty of time to get the house back into shape...then a couple days before school started I had my next exacerbation and MS diagnosis....so you get the picture!) Mostly I lay on bed and watch, because I so tired, and every time I bend over I get dizzy like I going to pass out…so I tell her where to put things, and she do it for me. So kind, so generous-besides, she my sister, I see her worst messes she see mine! Then in afternoon we take the girls out to lunch and shopping. At lunch while my sister is getting the food from the counter my girls say to me confidentially "You and Aunt Amy just like us! Really best friends!"-I loved to hear this from my girls who, except for typical small sister arguments, truly are best friends).
So there we are, me in my wheelchair…I became the shopping cart; kids put everything on my lap like a basket! I exhausted, but so happy for my girls to have this special time with their Aunt and Mom. Then in evening, Belin have first sweet 16 party of all her friends, so we dress her up. She stunning in black cocktail dress and bright red lipstick (the party was Twighlight Book Theme-Vampire…so I insist on bright red lipstick!-Belin is shy and not so sure about this....but she looks gorgeous!) I put her hair in chignon and I tell you she look like Grace Kelly to me! Then Rosie, Gordon, Amy and I play Apples to Apples and giggle at silliness of the game, eat pizza and play with the dog, who has to be in middle of everything. And MY LIFE FEELS FULL AND PERFECT. I still need cane to get around house. I still cannot speak proper English, I tired, my legs hurt like I ran a marathon, but, so what?
This morning my sister leaves in airport van. I stand at door and cry. I miss her already, and I feel my heart burst with gratitude for so much love. My life is not easy, my life is not the one most people would ever choose. MY LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL AND GOOD AND FILLED WITH MORE LOVE THAN MAYBE I DESERVE, BUT I ACCEPT IT ALL WITH JOY AND GRATITUDE (an I hope humility too).
Throughout the last few days, I have received so many messages of encouragement and appreciation from so many people for my honesty, for inspiring others. I just be myself, and happy if I am inspiring…because so many people inspire me!…and that's what we are here to do right? Bring out “inner-spirit” of each other so we can all shine as fully as possible, Divine light into the world and see this magnificent illumination in each others faces. (...or words, or art, or actions, smiles, tears, hugs…)
I received so many responses to my Mega Moebius Gratitude Quilt for Thanksgiving request…Going to be amazing!!!!!!! Thank you everyone, can’t wait until it go up on Thanksgiving Day!
Namaste….I see the light in all of you in your words shining though your hearts across the world through the Internet to me.