(not a star...but the luminous moon instead)
Now that that's clear as mud...
All is well on the home front. Yesterday Rosie went back to school fever free (whew)...Mom and Dad took me to PT (Jimmy my therapist worked me really hard...but I did it!) and out to lunch and then (I was tuckering out) we stopped for a few things at Marshall's (me in my wheelchair), and I spent the rest of the day resting. (I am not the most entertaining of hostess’s lately-aside from my sharp wit and funny accents.) Today I woke at 5am feeling pretty exhausted from yesterday's activities and grateful too, that it had been such a full day. Not just in busyness, which for me feels like a blessing, believe it or not, right now, but full in the love I feel for my parents.
I was reading Janice Lynne Lundy's post from last Friday at Awakened Living not long after I got out of bed. (I'm a bit behind on blog hopping, because we have company.) At the end of that entry, Jan offered this simple, heart-opening question:
"What can you give yourself a gold star for?" This was after sharing one of my all time favorite quotes at the beginning of the post:
On the welcome page of my website I share the second half of this quote from Marianne, beginning with the last sentence Jan posted:
We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."
Perhaps this will seem small to you...but for me today it was a moment of "Wow" illumination. (It is basically the same comment I shared on Jan's blog with a little bit of editing.)
I had an aha moment this morning at around 5:45am...I was feeling sad, mourning the fact that my parents will be going back to Florida in 2.5 days...but/and...I caught myself doing this "mourning in advance thing" and realized it...turned it into "gratitude for right now, they are upstairs sleeping and today we will hang out and how wonderful is that!"
So I am continuing to learn to notice when I am falling into the future and choosing to steady myself in the present instead...ok granted I did move from sleeping NOW to the rest of today we will hang out (slightly in the future)....but the main thing is I recognized what I was doing and turned my attention and sad heart away from 2.5 days into the future to "I feel grateful in THIS MOMENT"...that's pretty present. GOLD STAR for ME!
No, this is not new for me...I do this kind of thing/have moments of "aha" awareness, fairly often...but I took Jan's question to mean, right now, today...and TODAY...right NOW...this is how I am lighting up the world...by being my TRUEST SELF...recognizing when I fall asleep and compassionately loving that part of me; accepting that I am living/changing/growing/on this journey that includes wakefulness and sleep (on multiple planes of being) while turning my attention to THIS MOMENT and embracing all of it as good/healing/part of the wholeness of living.
If you browse my website, please realize that at this time I am temporarily not teaching yoga and not facilitating playshops...but I am still offering my services as a coach. (With my "interesting" accent-think of it as an added feature.) I have to update the website when my tech support guru (Gord) is on vacation next week, to reflect what I can do/be/offer while I am still recovering from these last two exacerbations. And then, we'll just have to see what happens-
I am open to the possibility of practicing and teaching yoga as well as play shops again when, God willing, I feel stronger in a few months.
May all we all recognize the light glowing within, and allow it to illuminate our inner and exterior worlds; exposing our vulnerabilities, our strengths, our uniqueness, receiving love and blessings in return for our courage to shine, to be our truest selves.