T'shuva: Recognizing Holiness

View from the Kancamagus Highway,
White Mountains National Forest, NH, USA

I was watching the gathering clouds and their shifting shadows on those familiar mountains for quite a while. I saw you, but it wasn't until I turned and took a step that I could truly see you.

With an intake of breath, my heart expanded in awe, recognizing yours, so perfectly formed.

How many others had passed by without noticing? What if I had not turned that afternoon, had not taken a step?

Gratitude awakened, witnessing this mirrored image of sacredness balanced on the mountainside.

You. Me. God.

Standing as One in this single moment of grace.

I love this tree. I love remembering the feeling of awe that filled me when I looked through the viewfinder of my camera and realized that the branches and leaves grew into a perfect heart shape. But I didn't see it right away; it took a while until I was standing in just the right position to be aware of what was in front of me the whole time. The form was there, the core essence of holiness was present all along, but I had to orient myself properly in order to recognize it. I think the same can be said for the holy essence that resides within each of us.

"The essence of each one of us is good and holy because it is a part of G-d. The challenge is to recognize this holy part of ourselves—which resides deep on the inside—and to allow it to shine on the outside." (Excerpt from 60 Days: A Spiritual Guide to the High Holidays, by Simon Jacobson. ©Copyright The Meaningful Life Center, 2010.)

During the month of Elul (click here to learn about the Hebrew calendar), leading up to the Yomim Noraim, the Jewish High Holy Days of Rosh Hashanah & Yom Kippur, it is a Jewish spiritual practice to make t'shuva...to turn, return to our goodness, our godliness, to God. We turn inward. We look in our hearts and examine closely the mountains of mistakes we have made. We turn towards those we have hurt and ask for forgiveness. We promise to do better; at the very least to try to be kinder and more thoughtful in the year to come. We do what we can to repair what we have broken. We make a conscious shift from where our hearts were positioned when we were intentionally hurtful or simply not paying attention to our words and actions. We return to God awareness, remembering that it is when we forget our own Divinity and that of others that we inflict harm. We choose to change, to grow. Like the micro-movements of alignment a yogini must make to settle into vrkasana (tree pose) with strength, firmly rooted, balanced, open, present, we readjust our inner stance until we can see beyond the misdeeds, harsh words, insincerity, apathy, judgment and wounds to discover our own holy hearts, beautifully formed, strong, rooted, balanced, open and fully present; silhouetted before the jagged background of those mountains. The dark clouds move aside, our holiness shines brilliantly. It was always there. Here. We forgive ourselves; perhaps the hardest step of all. We have returned.

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Clearly you don't have to be Jewish to "make t'shuva", I'm sure similar spiritual practices are part of many traditions. And we don't have to wait for a particular time of year to engage. It can and should happen whenever we recognize that we have missed the mark and need to return to our Divinity. Is there someone you need to make amends with? Perhaps it is time to heal the brokenness. Life is too short and too precious not to.

I just want to say here on my blog that if I have hurt or offended any of you, my readers, my friends, my family, I am deeply sorry. I am aware that I have not been as attentive to you as I could be. Please forgive me. I will try to be better about connecting with you. Your kindness, love and support means so much to me.

gentle steps dear ones,
Laura

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