Shine the Divine:

Creativity IS a Spiritual Practice

When we see through our hearts, we recognize that every single one of us is infused with creativity. Divine Sparks are embedded in everyone and everything. It's up to us to be courageous, to look and listen deeply, to find the sparks, gather and release them back into the universe, transformed into something new. Join me as we wake up to the sacred-ordinary blessings waiting to greet us each and every day.

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Saturday, October 16, 2010

I am the LauraX


LauraX

Yes, my hair speaks for the trees! I got out of the gnome mound for the afternoon (ok two days in a row) Yesterday a grueling 2.5 hour pt eval. Guess what. I shocked my fantabulous pt Jimmy...he couldn't believe how much worse I am now than when he last saw me in Dec. 10 months ago. Yeah well, so it goes with degenerative diseases. WE have a lot of work to do to get me walking like a typical human again....not so convinced it's gonna happen, not completely....I always seem to go 2 steps forward 1 step back....I make gains, I do progress, and then BAM the next weird exacerbation (or pseudo if you want to get all semantic on me) happens and I just never fully recover to how I was before the last one...I know, I know...where's your spunk, your hope, your belief in miracles???? (and Mom I know you are reading this...and I can hear you telling me not to be so negative....I'm not Mom...I'm just being real...this is what I've seen/experienced again and again) I believe in miracles....small miracles...like the color changes of the trees outside my bedroom window....bigger ones, like the births of healthy babies who grow up to be beautiful teenagers....but not the kind that are going to erase the damage to my myelin...maybe someday with all the amazing research that's going on, maybe someday...but not right now. Right now...it's the tiny miracles I'm grateful for. Well blessings anyway. The kindness of my hairdresser who has been cutting and coloring and playing with me and my wild hair ideas for 10 years...she actually rolled the huge hair dryer to me so I had one less transfer from my wheelchair...and gently helped me from my chariot to her salon chair to the sink and back and forth for the double processing I had done today...that felt miraculous...and so soothing...I sat there with the crazy goop oozing out of my silly plastic bonnet down my cheeks and staining them (think oompa loompa orange) and warm air, truly looking like a creature from another planet about to take off and be lifted-like the LORAX to my home planet..and I practiced metta...it was so delightful....the hum of the hairdryer...the warmth...

May I feel safe
May I feel happy
May I feel strong
May I live with ease

and the same blessing for Donna, my hairdresser...I just stuck with the two of us...felt like enough.

I felt totally safe, happy, strong (especially with my color choices, and well choice to be ME no matter what!) and fully at ease.

I know it's so totally vain. But my hair is my secret (ok not so secret if you know me) guilty pleasure!!!! I love fun cuts and colors....granted, hardly anyone besides my family ever even sees me any more...so this is something I do for me. Gord fortified me with an extra half dose of Klonopin (vitamin K as I'm starting to call it) this afternoon...which is totally officially ok according to my doc...in fact I've been taking lower doses than is on my orders (she said play with it see what works...so I wasn't cheating)...this allowed me to keep my head still so I wouldn't go home looking like Van Gogh (you know with all the head shaking No-No-No non-stop -that's what it looks like only super speeded up when I'm in full out spasm...it would have been easy to lop of an ear!)

So there you have it...my grand adventure....my plan...to imitate the gorgeous color of the trees outside my window...to be the trees...I am the trees...how Zen...I know.
My goodness I'm tired now...so glad it's Shabbas...I plan to rest fully tonight and tomorrow!

I am the LauraX my hair speaks for the trees.

through my window

and no matter what happens to my body...my spirits remain soaring, healthy and free!
gentle steps my friends 

21 comments:

  1. Aah Laura, I am praying for that big miracle and in the mean time I wish your quality of life improves daily.Your autumnal hair do is making me smile. It is warm and glowing and reminds me of my favourite time of the year.We are going into Summer soon and I will be biding my time til Autumn returns.
    May you feel safe.
    May you feel happy.
    May you feel strong.
    May you live with ease.

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  2. I love your new foliage of hair, dear Lorax. You speak so well for the trees, for the trees have no tongue. But you do!

    Shabbat shalom to you.

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  3. I love the color of your hair. It is perfect for Autumn. I will continue to embrace the way my hair is graying; in lovely streaks that look almost like highlights.

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  4. Dearest LauraX, I love your wild locks and their vivid autumnal color - beautiful!! And I love your Donna for comforting and beautifying you with such care.
    I am SO with you in understanding taking a 'real' stance regarding your myelin repair. Years of two steps forward, one back, without having time to get to Start before another whacky invasion takes over makes realists out of us. It isn't negative - you are one of the most positive, open to miracles people I know, and live with deep appreciation for all the positives that surround you! Blessings and love my friend, Karin

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  5. I like your "tree" colored hair. And your new name ; )

    And your ability to "see" in the dark...

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  6. !!!
    It's gorgeous and vibrant and perfect.

    speaking for the trees... oh what a wonderful woman you are . seriously.

    prayers and blessings

    and gratitude.
    for seeing through your window , for seeing real.

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  7. bless your beautiful red head... well I believe in BIG miracles, because I have seen them in my time and that is my prayer for you. your cheerful enthusiasm, and love permeates your writing and fills my heart... from now on I shall think of you when I look at the gorgeosity around me! xoxo

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  8. Your post exudes a joy. And I love your color choice. So Awake "trunk hearted" strong as you wrote of the trees earlier. You are on fire. In a copper soft blessed way--

    Yes
    You are beautiful
    You are song wind earth leaf root wellspring of sweet sap rising to nourish you are sunny flying peace sparkling over the waters of day.

    Your delight has blessed and humbled me.

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  9. Beautiful LauraX, I love the spunk you show here -- being truthful about how things are for you - not pretending that everything is easy --

    being YOU: letting your hair speak for the trees (such great play here! made me giggle)

    and inspiring us all by your transparency!! Thank you!!

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  10. through the window i see you in the forest standing tall, standing still, standing strong, adorning the sky with your crown of autumnal fire

    ...

    (i love it... and i love that you did something so purely fun! I know how things like going to a salon that others take for granted as being easy take on a new complexity that can make it seem not worth doing. I am constantly inspired by your determination and perseverance.)

    big hug and big LOVE!

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  11. Great post, Laura, and your hair looks gorgeous!

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  12. I love what you did with your hair! My hair is my guilty pleasure too :o) I skimp on some things to save money, but never on my hair products or my haircuts :o)

    As for miracles...I never give up on them either :o)

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  13. Gorgeous color, Laura. Reminds me that I have to get me to the salon post haste -- I'm imitating the other side of autumn -- when it needs a cut, color, fix, it sheds a little -- like the falling leaves! Thanks for a delightful article!
    Peace,
    Muff

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  14. Your hair looks beautiful. Beautiful hair for a beautiful lady with a beautiful heart :)
    I believe in miracles. I will believe for you.
    Have a wonderful weekend. You blend well with the wonderful trees.

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  15. Beautiful hair Laura. Beuatiful spirit. Beautiful you :)

    Cheers,
    Karen

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  16. "my plan...to imitate the gorgeous color of the trees outside my window"

    You did that and more. You also spread joy all around us, even as you kept things real.

    Judy

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  17. you beautiful creature you... at one with the trees & planet laurax gets stronger every day... not bad going x love & blessings dear one x

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  18. I love your hair! And I love how happy it makes you. As I've caught up with your last couple of posts, I'm struck by what a poet you are, both with your words and with your pictures.

    Acceptance is something I struggle with (I get the irony there). Visiting you here helps me better understand what I'm being asked to do. You help. You teach. You inspire.

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  19. Love the red! I have wanted red hair since I was six years old ~ my Barbie had a red-head bubble cut. Red wouldn't go with my coloring but it is perfect on you!

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  20. Love the colour. I wouldn't have the courage to go maple tree red. *smile*

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  21. i love your gorgeous autumnal hair. gentle blessings.. xx

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