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Saturday, January 22, 2011
Gentle White Kisses
snow flakes, tiny gifts
return us to the present
gentle white kisses
a river of stones
This (above) was the entirety of my planned post for this morning
and then I just kept receiving more and more kisses in packages, and cards and messages and more snow. The winter storm yesterday was no match for the blizzard of love that came forth when I released yesterday's post! So much love, so much kindness, so much comfort
and the tears, oh the tears...I am FEELING anointed, blessed by so much love
N said, "Tears are sometimes liquid gold, don't you think?"
oh yes, I DO!
a lovely note from J
another email from N
"Do you know I am out here loving you in a rather ferocious way today?"
a print I ordered from R (her 12 year old son's words, that resonated with the way I feel pretty much every day!!!...what an amazing child!)
a message from M
"I am glad that you allow yourself to be human, because then your spirit blossoms once again."
a tote bag from another precious N (how'd she know I needed a big bag in which to hold my fear?)
a message from K
"I feel we do share in each other's experiences, for I feel myself beside you rising out of the tub on your own, and then deciding, I'm going to do laundry. I feel myself sliding down the wall in exhaustion, completely depleted, consciously aware of the energy it's taking to take my next breath..."
another one from L
"Thank you my dear sweet friend for sharing your truth, your heart, yourself with us."
and from T and then D
"The sadness and sorrow just gushed in. I'm glad you let it. I don't think it's good to resist these things and white wash our sadness."
"It is an honour to bear all of your truths..."
"I really enjoyed your post today. Not an easy one to write, I'm sure...but the truth, and the truth needs to be spoken."
"...you are incredibly generous to share your experience and the process of both (and!) moving through and staying with what is happening and your reactions to it. Even though the details are unique it resonates as universal."
and a beautiful view from BIG G
and on and on and on...
there are so many lovely snowflake kisses I've only included the tiniest handful
every single UNIQUE and loving snowflake kiss has been received and is melting my icicle heart
and you know what? I almost didn't hit publish yesterday...I didn't want to bring anybody down
and the first message I received yesterday morning was actually this one:
"You are the last person in the world that would be called a “kvetch!” " from H
which of course was ultimately the center of my hesitation, because I know so many of you have MUCH BIGGER sorrows, and deeper suffering, and mine seems so minor when I think about what some of you contend with daily
it felt important to come clean (like the snow) and in essence, say: that we all hurt, we are all scared and confused and worried and blue from time to time...and that's ok...that's part of this whole package called LIFE
when we look at our pain, listen to its voice, give it a face, a name, simply sit with it companionably instead of running away
when we share our burden with a community
the weight is not so great, the fear is not so terrifying
compassion can hold it all
in Hebrew the word rachamim, compassion, is rooted in the word rechem, womb. What could be a more hospitable place of grace and tenderness, of nourishment and comfort than the womb we create for one another in friendship?
for every one who has sent a message saying, "I wish I could help, could do something, be there..."
you have, you are...and I trust that you feel my love too
thank you all for holding me