Shine the Divine:

Creativity IS a Spiritual Practice

When we see through our hearts, we recognize that every single one of us is infused with creativity. Divine Sparks are embedded in everyone and everything. It's up to us to be courageous, to look and listen deeply, to find the sparks, gather and release them back into the universe, transformed into something new. Join me as we wake up to the sacred-ordinary blessings waiting to greet us each and every day.

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Sunday, February 13, 2011

There is Comfort There is Love


When my daughter Belin turned 14, she wanted to learn about essential oils, so I did some research and talked with a friend who is an aromatherapist and put together her first "kit". When I decided to learn reiki I &II two years ago so I could help Rosie with her belly pain and anxiety (this was in the midst of her Crohn's being quite active and the tail end of my first documentable MS exacerbation)...guess who went with me and also became initiated? She blends the most wonderful fragrant oils and infuses them with reiki and pure love, not just for me, but for her little sister and herself too. 

Rosie, could do her homework anywhere in the house, but pretty much always chooses to sit beside me on the bed while she works. Not because she needs my help, but because she wants to be near me. I am blessed with such warm, loving, generous daughters. 

This morning I spent 10 minutes folding laundry, and became completely exhausted, disarthric, had to sit down and rest in tears from the frustration of attempting to just "DO" a normal activity. Gordon came to the rescue with a hug of support. He listened to me in my barely intelligible speech that he has learned to decipher, he held me, he comforted me. The thing is, most of the time, when I am sitting still, writing, "active" online, I forget how different my body really is. Then I will have this sudden experience, this sharp slap of reality when fatigue bites down hard into the moment. I get up to actually be physically active in the most mundane tasks and wham! 

I do not share this because I want you to feel sorry for me, that's not it. I just need to write what is real. This is not just my story you see. This is the story of many, many other people living with chronic illness. It is hard, it is painful, it is frustrating. We have moments of grief. And then the tears subside. In my case, my voice returns to normal, a signal to my heart to relax, that I am safe, that I'm still me, still whole, broken, but whole. I am surrounded by a loving family. I am blessed, not everyone has the support of a family nearby, an amazing partner, loving children. I am so deeply blessed and grateful. And yes there are bumps, and bruises and uncertainties...but overarching all the small awarenesses of loss, there is comfort, there is love.




48 comments:

  1. It sounds like you have a wonderful, warm family that shares your love and life. God bless all of you.

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  2. Thank you for sharing your morning story. It will inspire me throughout this day: broken but whole. Yes!

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  3. Congratulations on your new look. I like it a lot. Coincidentally, I was just experimenting with changing the look of my blog and decided I was going to allow things to remain where they are. I spent a lot of time a year and a half ago getting it to where it is now, and so far everything new I've tried is not an improvement. Of course tomorrow I may change my mind. As always, thanks for being "real."


    Judy

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  4. Love this love letter for you and for everyone who has ever been frustrated by something 'difficult' in their lives.

    I do not feel sorry for you Laura. That would be pity. I feel genuine tears for compassion, for you, for me, for all those who really inhabit their bodies and feel its limitations, and its teachings.

    You always inspire me to give the love I could not give to myself for years to myself now, and to pass it down as the most precious thing to my daughter.

    This morning we were coloring together, and I was so grateful for this opportunity to infuse the page and my life with colors of my own choosing.

    May this bed of love hold you, Dear One each time the MS catches you off guard.

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  5. amen. understanding those surprise moments when we are slapped with the reality of our fragile bodies. understanding too, and grateful for, the love which surrounds you and me...

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  6. Thank you for sharing ... and you're right ... writing about your experience brings an awareness to others.

    It certainly helps me. I am taking care of my Mother while she undergoes chemotherapy. She tends to be quiet on difficult days, and your story helps me understand better what it must be like for her on those days.

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  7. Laura, I read your story and and so thankful that you have a loving family near.
    I am learning to live with the times my immune disorder surfaces.
    No one near but it is my time of life. I accept and do all I know to do - that is all we can do.
    You are loved and this afternoon I smile at your sharing about your dear daughter's.

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  8. ♥♥
    Laura dear,
    you are blessed for having such beautiful and lovely daughters. Ok I won't feel sorry for you. I feel blessed for having found you here in blogland. You are an example of love, as few, a love which beyond any other things in life. You perspire love. I guess that's what I'd do too: sit near you to do my homework...

    Hoping you have a great Sunday and enjoy it with those you love and love you so, comfortably :)
    Warm hugs
    And happy St Valentine's!♥♥

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  9. I don't feel sorry for you, i just FEEL for you, hope you can see the difference. Keep trying.

    Your daughter looked GORgeus!

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  10. Your post brought tears to my eyes. Not tears of sadness but of joy. I just read something that said if we were to put the problems of others in a pile we would quickly take back our own. I take such joy in reading your words. You are such an inspiration to me. I am perfectly healthy but yet find myself feeling sorry for Neva. You smile despite your trials and you go on. I am in awe.

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  11. broken but whole ... those are insightful words ...

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  12. You are so fortunate to be surrounded by so much love. Sending you hugs and thanking you for sharing this with us :o)

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  13. Laura, So glad you are a "follower". I look forward to sharing with you. Your letter and profile are so inspirational--you have such a wonderful, positive outlook on life, and seem to have an amazing and loving family that is always there to support you. How blessed you are. You are a shining example to the world. Mickie

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  14. Laura,

    You articulate that moment of coming up against you body's limitations so well--and you have the courage to write about it. I still find it embarrassing and frustrating that I tire easily and am sensitive to so many things that I have to protect myself like a kid glove! Your willingness to share your experiences help the rest of us move towards acceptance. Thank you.

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  15. This is beautiful and thank you for the text !

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  16. You are blessed with a wonderful family..I also wanted to thank you for your prayers and thoughts for my Mother..Life is hard sometimes but as for me my life has changed me with MS..the fatique for me is the the part that makes me angry..I want to do things and as you say the simple things take all my energy. My thoughts are with you more than you know because I read your blog and I know your pain and frustrations.
    Sisters in Strength.
    Katelen

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  17. smiles. you really are an inspiration...may love and light surround you all your days...

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  18. what a neat shot, i love the textures you got in this one!

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  19. Beautiful details in this image. I am happy to read that you have such a loving and supportive family.

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  20. Nice composition I like the bubbles and you have been a perfect light.

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  21. Beautiful post dear Laura - so candid, so very personal. Because it is "real", is what makes it so appealing. You describe the infinite spectra of reality, of ups and downs, of the good and the bad, creating a circle that we call life. And love is what gets us through the heavy end.
    I am wishing a wonderful day full of this transcending emotion -
    xoxoxoxo

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  22. Beauitful post..wonderful...and a supportive family around one is such a treasure..it is beautiful and powerful, transformative and healing.. Shine on!
    Victoria~

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  23. Oh Laura...I read this last night and I was so blessed by your words but my arms were full of children so couldn't type a comment...so here I am again reading your delicious words...thank you for always writing from your heart and being so honest...of course I know you don't share so that others feel sorry for you and I don't think anyone feels sorry in a bad way...I feel bad whenever anyone hurts or suffers so it does break my heart to read of your struggles...when I picture you with your daughters it makes me smile...how precious they are...Belin to mix oils and using the reiki for you and her little sister...Rosie doing her homework next to you...oh what a blessing they are...

    I appreciate when people share the honest truth of where they are at...the painful or ugly truths...while I am sorry you have pain it does bring me comfort that you understand mine...I always appreciate when someone writes honestly about living with pain or illness because I am reminded I am not walking this journey alone...I too am blessed with a loving husband and family...these times of high pain I have to rest in the truths...I know that there are others that suffer all alone.

    Bless you my friend...you touch me with your heart and the wisdom of your soul...thank you for sharing it with me! ((((Laura)))

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  24. Cool macro shot.

    Your words are inspirational, not sorrowful.

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  25. ...as I read your post, the words keep coming back to me "broken but whole". We all are in so many ways, just others suffer more. You seem to find your strength with your family. And that my friend, is GOOD!!

    thanks for visiting and leaving such a positive comment...it's so greatly appreciated.

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  26. Oh, what a terrific image Laura. There is so much depth in those oily "bubbles" with great light and reflections.

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  27. Laura you are blessed. Your family is a reflection of who you are.

    I was happy to learn that you and Belin do Reiki. I have been a Reiki Master for many years. My family and friends are the recipients of this wonderful energy. Glad to know we have some things in common.

    Thank you for sharing your frustrations due to MS. I wouldn't dream of associating you with pity. You are one of the strongest people I know who lets her Spirit guide her life. Peace to you.

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  28. Dear Laura:

    You are very blessed indeed. The warmth of togetherness and the company of lovely children is a remainder of life's little joys bestowed upon us.

    Blessings to you and your family.

    Joy always,
    Susan

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  29. So fine words, dear blogfriend ;-)
    Have a great Valentines Day with your family, and week too :-D

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  30. glad you have a supportive family. love the image.

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  31. I hope you know how much your journey helps those of us struggling with our own limitations and challenges. Both your bravery in the facing of your MS, and in your willingness to be so honest about the costs as well as the blessings.

    You have an amazing family!

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  32. Such a beautiful write. You are so amazing. To think anyone else has reason to complain, when they are well of body....I don't think so. I know you are not complaining, but writing what is true. I'm sorry for this heavy load you must carry, but your words tell me, you do it so well. But this doesn't make it alright. Will you become well? Is this illness curable? I hope you may be all better soon. Life is hard enough without extra burdens of illness. Happy Valentine's Day to your heart!

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  33. Thank you for taking the time to visit my little blog during your troubles. Your letter is beautiful. So much of it applies to not only your physical pain but emotional or spiritual pain that we all have. Thank you for sharing such intimate thoughts. Your blog is beautiful...on so many levels.

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  34. Very touching facts. One's life cannot be compared to the others. It's not a matter of comparison. As long as you think you are blessed, your life is beautiful:)))
    Happy Valentine's Day.
    Yoshi

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  35. Extraordinarily beautiful that you can find grace within this journey . . . Blessings! Love the image!

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  36. beautiful macro here Laura and I can almost feel the warmth of your girls. they are such sweet ones.

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  37. Laura you are loved and blessed. Praying for you all the time. Happy Valentines day!

    Macro Monday

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  38. Such a beautiful post of gratitude and love, Laura. You are blessed with insight and a beautiful family. I wish you strength of body - you already have the strength of spirit.

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  39. i appreciate your honesty, your being in the moment of life for that is what is real--but you are still able to see where all the TRUE LOVE exists, which is also REAL. LOVE is bigger than anything we own, have, or become. i am grateful for your insights as they help me look into my life.your soulfriend,
    michelle

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  40. laura .. first may I say how much I enjoyed the links to your daughters birthday celebration ..they are just lovely .. the words that jumped off the screen were "broken but whole" .. it speaks volumes ..blessings

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  41. I believe it's helpful to write your feelings down. You are fortunate to have lovely daughters and a supportive husband. Love the bubbles above!

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  42. You are so surrounded by love, what a powerful healer of the soul that is, if not of the body.

    -----------------------------------
    My photography is available for purchase - visit Around the Island Photography and bring home something beautiful today!

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  43. I hope you've woken up feeling better today... warm and comfortable.
    Came to find something new. Not today, It's Valentine's I hope you can celebrate how ever
    I am here also to inform you that Sweeter Poetry is kind of finished …so I’ve created a new blog in case you are interested… http://myduality2.blogspot.com/
    Warm hug Laura dear!
    :)

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  44. Thank you for making what is real for you also real for me. You inspire me. God blesses your spirit and us through it.

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  45. How wonderful that she is able to help. ;) Love the photo!

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