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Creativity IS a Spiritual Practice

When we see through our hearts, we recognize that every single one of us is infused with creativity. Divine Sparks are embedded in everyone and everything. It's up to us to be courageous, to look and listen deeply, to find the sparks, gather and release them back into the universe, transformed into something new. Join me as we wake up to the sacred-ordinary blessings waiting to greet us each and every day.

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Sunday, May 29, 2011

Tiny Taste







Amidst the grasses overgrown
Wild and nourished by days of rain
Awash in a sunlit morning
I found myself wandering
Searching for...
I'm not sure
Serenity?
A silent sip of joy?





Before the hour long drive to my neurologist I needed to be outside, paying attention to the beauty of our lawn and it's diversity of uncut abundance...before the noisy mower and it's blade...before news of what soon would be revealed on a light-box displaying slices of my brain and new information digested.

Yes, a tiny taste of joy, like this small insect momentarily lost in the pleasure of clover nectar...that was what I was searching for and found.

Turns out there are some new lesions in my brain after all, a rebound effect of stopping the Tysabri. Despite efforts to prevent this with three months of pulse steroids, there is inflammation again…these things happen. This coming week three consecutive days of IV Solumedrol should calm this down. Two more mri’s of my t and c spine to make sure there is nothing going on down there will also be done later this week (or early next.) And then…. drum roll please…as long as all of my blood work and eye exam are A-OK, and the insurance company is agreeable (so far, I’ve been very fortunate that way)…I will go for a six-hour observation as I take my first dose of Gilenya. (They have to monitor my heart rate; this is standard with this very new drug).  My veins will be very happy to have a break from infusions after the steroids next week, because Gilenya is an oral medication. Disappointed that there are new lesions? Yes of course, but I have MS, this is how it goes. I’ve shed intermittent tears since Friday, but have been doing my best to look at the blessing of being born at a time when new drugs are coming out every year (in some cases every few months). I am so lucky that there are treatments that might slow down this MS train for me. They don’t work for everyone. So far several have not worked for me. I am hoping that this one will.

My parents are still here visiting until Tuesday morning. It has been such a gift having them here with us!

Expect a quiet week on my blog as I receive the steroids and rest when I can (until they wind me up and I’m watching movies on Netflix all night long, because I won’t be able to concentrate on anything else.) And then I’ll likely be super tired the following week after that drug leaves my system…but gradually, hopefully, I’ll start to feel pretty good again in a few weeks, just in time for summer vacation with my family. Everything will be ok. This is simply life, pleasant, unpleasant, and pleasant again. Simply life.

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53 comments:

  1. Please know that wherever you are, and however you feel, and if ever you write again or not, you make a huge difference in the lives of the people who know you. Your honesty. Your courage. Your sweet and gentle spirit. Sending prayers and love and light to you.

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  2. Firstly wonderful photographs supported bu beautiful words. Interesting green is a healing color and the color for harmony. There is great courage in acceptance and hope.

    Would you mind if I put you on my healing list?

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  3. i enjoyed the green grasses as i think they are as beautiful as blooms. good luck with the upcoming treatments and new drug. i hope it gets along well with your system and fights back to give you strength. :)

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  4. Nature nourishes my soul. I need to be with nature when I feel unwell, it is a type of medicine for me. Your photos are lovely Laura, the vivid green is soothing. I wish you well with your new treatment. You will be in my thoughts, even if you are not writting here.

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  5. Beautiful photos. It's a great gift to be able to find beauty where other don't even expect it!
    I'm sending love and good vibration. Will think of you.
    Hugs
    Joo

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  6. The pictures are beautiful. Good luck with the Gilenya. As you say, at least you don't have to get poked.
    Judy

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  7. Couldn't have said it better than Deb, love and light to you and many good wishes and prayers

    Jacqui

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  8. Thank you for sharing these beautiful photos and words. Sending you love and good wishes.

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  9. I love the photos you put up with this post, Laura. They radiate peace and as you said, joy. I will be praying for you these next few weeks, hoping that this new round of treatments has positive results.

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  10. Congratulations on finding your touch of joy in such a trying time...

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  11. That is a lovely picture of the bee in the bright yellow wildflower in the clover.

    You have a wonderful attitude about all that you are going through with MS. This was a very inspirational read. I pray that this new drug will be very beneficial to you in lessening your symptoms.

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  12. A charming bee. I hope the new drugs work. My brother had MS, so I have some feel for your situation. Its a hard disease.

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  13. ooohhh laura, the rollercoaster ride of ms, can we please get off and walk amongst the landscape, for just one moment and be free of this dreadful disease.......

    i am still receiving monthly infusions of tysabri, 44 so far. i have sat with many ms'ers receiving their first dose of gilenya, they have done well.

    keep finding the joy....it's everywhere!!! hugs, debbie

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  14. The green is gorgous! And the yellow is, too. Those things, too, are simply life. It's what we do with what we see that matters. You have a way of helping us see that all of life matters.

    May you be safe ~
    May you be happy ~
    May you feel healthy and strong ~
    May you feel peaceful and at ease ~

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  15. My fingers are crossed for you! May this new treatment work and give you some relief. Blessings and hugs until you post again, whenever you feel up to it.

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  16. Beautiful images, Laura! I will keep you in my prayers and I hope the new medicine will really help you.

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  17. ((hugs)) with you all the way x

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  18. Wonderful set of images.

    One should never loss hope.

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  19. grace in the grass!



    Aloha from Honolulu

    Comfort Spiral

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  20. always...always...holding you in love and light...so blessed to know you...inspired by you and in awe.
    In deep friendship with abundant love and light,
    Jill

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  21. Love you, Laura. May you find contentment in your lovely tent...I'll be thinking of you all week and holding you in prayer. With chesed....

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  22. Yes, simply life, but I am still sad. May Gilenya be a gift. Whatever the outcome, I am sure it will be a gift.

    Rest well on that green of yours.

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  23. Love the green grasses! Makes me feel that the earth is new again.

    Much <3

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  24. A friend of mine is preparing to have the same drug - she will be having hers next week. I am hoping and praying that it goes well for her and for you, Laura.

    Enjoy your time with your parents. Thank you for the gorgeous greens that just restore a spirit and I hope you are having a glorious weekend.

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  25. Your photos are beautiful, Laura! I'm praying for you, and take your time to rest. You're in my thoughts.

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  26. My dearest lady,
    You are but an example to follow. How dare I say I am feeling down?
    The beauty outside and inside your world astounds me and helps me go on.
    Please be well, as well as you can be.
    Good luck and see you soon.
    Thanks for sharing your precious moments with us, Laura.

    Warm hugs

    D.

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  27. I'm sooooooo there with you. In spirit. Lovely, lovely time outdoors, and oh so beautiful.


    Yard Elves

    Do stop by and visit if you have a little time in your day. Happy Monday.

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  28. Beautiful photos of these plants and flowers of bright hues. Wonderful.

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  29. Thank you everyone for you lovingkindness...I feel so blessed by each and every one of you!

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  30. Wonderful photos! Your spirit is showing through whatever you are doing in your life. It is very inspiring and encouraging. I am happy to hear that your parents are with you. I miss mine awfully.

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  31. looks like you found that sip...smiles. been outside all day in the wonderful sun and has been so nourishing to me...

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  32. sending you blessings and peace while you heal.

    stay cool in the heat, too.

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  33. I send you light on your journey, a challenging journey it is. So lovely that you find peace and joy in the simple beauties around you. Thank you for your lovely spirit.

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  34. Laura,
    We are on the same paths it seems.
    I just went thru the tunnels of the mri's. So I am also trying to get on the same but my Insurance is denying the Gilenya. So it is one of those things..The company and my Neuro are trying to get me on the assist program..
    My prayers are with you..my thoughts are sending you wishes of a peace. I my self have been having the days where all I can do is lay in bed and feel the water from my eyes roll down my cheek and know that I am still blessed because I have peace.
    Love and Hugs,
    Katelen

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  35. My heart grieves for all you go through, Laura, but you manage to rise above it. You have my APPLAUSE. And prayers.

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  36. Lovely post as always. We all need to enjoy each little moment while it is here and enjoy the peace and joy that it can bring. Hope your treatment goes well and you can feel better after awhile. So glad you enjoyed your parents' visit. My thoughts are with you. Mickie :)

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  37. yes, life. may you walk in light as you go through the next week. may you have peace. may you find blessing in the hidden places, to refresh your spirit. may you know His love, abundantly.

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  38. Continual thoughts and prayers I send your way.
    Your are loved Dear Laura. Enjoy your parents and rest....

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  39. Calm colours of green . . .
    Your courage brings tears to my eyes. Wish you well.

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  40. Sending you all the light and warmth of late spring, and hoping for you that the new medication will work beautifully. Lovely green grasses, thank you!

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  41. thanks for the silent sip of joy...and all the best for the therapy..hope you find some rest laura

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  42. Wishing you well...hoping that you feel better soon... Beautiful photos !

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  43. i pray that your week goes well...cant imagine the up all night watching movies and all...but i pray you strength...

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  44. Laura,

    I love the way you so clearly appreciate nature and being in the present moment. The photos are lovely.

    I'm sorry about the new lesions. I hope the new medication works well for you. Sending positive energy your way...

    Jeanne

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  45. Beautiful photos, beautiful words, and a beautiful soul. Praying you are well again soon.

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  46. Pretty grasses and flowers, Laura! I hope the new medicine is helping and you're feeling better. :)

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  47. and greatful for every moment of it

    peace be with you

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  48. All the best, Laura! I hope the new drug works for you!

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  49. Thank you for letting me sip from the joy of your photos!

    Hope your new treatment starts working.

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  50. may you be blessed and my prayers are with you.

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  51. marvelous shots...
    Laura and the treatment...is it ok?
    I like the first five..great!!!!
    I was thinking of you, this morning when I edited some photos and created a blogger layout to one friend of me and if you want one too, I can create, ok?

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  52. Your blades of grass wave courageously as they bend to the breeze- looking as lovely as your heart-blessings many blessings to you.

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