Shine the Divine:

Creativity IS a Spiritual Practice

When we see through our hearts, we recognize that every single one of us is infused with creativity. Divine Sparks are embedded in everyone and everything. It's up to us to be courageous, to look and listen deeply, to find the sparks, gather and release them back into the universe, transformed into something new. Join me as we wake up to the sacred-ordinary blessings waiting to greet us each and every day.

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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

A River of Stones: July 20


A Small Stone: 

In my tallit I feel that each day is a true beginning, that possibilities are endless like the Creator of all Beingness.
"…wrapped in light like a garment, unfolding the heavens like a curtain." (Psalm 104:1-2)

Wrapped in my tallit, the one I think of as or haganuz, I opened my siddur and began chanting slowly. I focused on prayers and texts I don’t know well, the ones I typically skip for the familiar passages I learned as a child, the ones we recite as a community in shul. I sang everything in Hebrew and English to a melody that rose from my depths; speech is difficult, song flows. My tallit is an astoundingly rich, vibrantly colored prayer shawl, tie dyed silk of orange and yellow, purchased at Elat Chayyim six years ago, my fortieth year on earth, a time ripe for studying Torah. I was engaged in an 18-month training program for yoga and Jewish spirituality teachers.

 In my tallit I feel that each day is a true beginning, that possibilities are endless like the Creator of all Beingness. My eyes became transfixed, my soul transported on these words quoted from Sifre Deuteronomy, Ekev: “As the Holy One is faithful, you too must be faithful. As the Holy One is loving, you too must be loving.

Paragraph after paragraph with a single focus, this I believe is the light of Torah. This is the essence of the boundless, formless, pure energy we as humans attempt to connect to, understand, describe, contain and dress in grand words and simple ones alike, and if we listen, look, open, God’s clear message above all else is illuminated for the ages: chesed, lovingkindness for all creatures. This includes ourselves, ALL CREATURES, exactly the way we are in this moment. 

Gratitude flooded my body with the lovingkindness offered to me through family, friends and near strangers not just recently, but all of my life. I want to do more, to give more, to be more, to not be so caught up in my own suffering, a well worn path I trip and slip into. To experience pain for it is a teacher, to love myself, yes, but also to release it as I breathe, to step out of my own habitual groove and expand to touch others with more than words written on a blog, as I have done for three years since diagnosis. Gemilut chassadim, acts of lovingkindness, things I have done in the past, but are so challenging now with my physical limitations, “how, how, how?” I wonder. Do I make too many excuses? I think so, sometimes I do. I will meditate upon this, upon how to do more while resting and healing.

Or haganuz, the hidden light associated with the first act of creation.
”Yehi or”…”Let there be light.”

Ps. Just called the doctor's office, a little news anyway, they are still working out "the plan"...new lesions, 5 day course of steroids, not sure if it will be at home or hospital because of the new medicine or if I'm supposed to  even stay on it while on the steroids, new territory with new drug...will know more later this afternoon.

13 comments:

  1. Lovely, that song can release the words for you!! My brother-in-law can do the same with his stuttering. Singing has given him a joyous life.

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  2. It is human to ask questions and wonder why. It can be hard to hear the answers. Sometimes the answer is simply "to be."

    Blessings ~

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  3. Dear, precious, Laura - I pray grace and peace on you as you sit with the question. Is the answer in the DOing? or in the BEing?

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  4. "Hineini" ... I am here ... Today my job is that of a sort of traffic director like those you see at construction sites. Think of me standing at the intersection of Energies: Love, Healing, Comfort and Strength sending as much "traffic" as possible your way! I stand ready with a smile, directions and tall sign that reads: "All traffic diverted to Laura's house. Leave your cargo of Energies with her and if possible go back, reload and return." By the end of today, you should be pretty well stocked up!!

    :-)

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  5. I keep thinking of you Laura and sending you good vibrations.
    Big hug:)
    Joo

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  6. Laura, I'm sorry I've missed some of your latest writing. So glad to read this one.

    I love knowing that you want to extend loving kindness. Please do not underestimate the power of your blog. It certainly does much for my own healing and often nurtures my spirit in wonderful ways. So perhaps you are limited in the physical possibilities, but please keep writing and knowing that you are giving loving kindness in this manner.

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  7. Laura, you will never know what your sharing "does for me."
    You speak to my heart and I wish I could spend time with you. Hear your voice, you hear mine, hug you.
    You are continually sent a smile, a hug and healing wishes.
    Always write...

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  8. I love my magical garment too!


    fringe benefits :)




    Aloha from Waikiki;


    Comfort Spiral

    ><}}(°>


    > < } } ( ° >

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  9. To rise above one´s suffering and share love with others is truly a great gift.

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  10. I agree, please do not underestimate what you do here with your words. Your words carry incredible weight and they [you!] have helped me more than you can possibly know as I navigate this year. Light from Ontario, Lois.

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  11. I'm so glad you're finding comfort in your singing and prayers and your tallit. You know, don't you, that your prayers and chants and your writing are huge acts of loving kindness and service?

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  12. Laura, I just saw a comment from you on someone's blog and realized it had been a while since I visited yours. I've read your posts up to Saturday, 23rd... and just want to let you know I admire your courage and you are in my thoughts. xoxo

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