When we see through our hearts, we recognize that every single one of us is infused with creativity. Divine Sparks are embedded in everyone and everything. It's up to us to be courageous, to look and listen deeply, to find the sparks, gather and release them back into the universe, transformed into something new. Join me as we wake up to the sacred-ordinary blessings waiting to greet us each and every day.
Saturday, July 23, 2011
A River of Stones: July 23
A small stone:
A human heart can fit in the palm of ones hand, but sometimes it weighs so much with love and concern I imagine it would be hard to hold even with two hands.
I woke up happy; I actually slept well last night (a little Zantac to my nightly mix, I knew I needed to rest well). My cheeks have the rosy glow of steroids this morning, at the moment my voice is back to normal...could be the 10 hours of sleep, could be the steroids kicking in already. Don't know how long this will last, but for now I'm ok, I am grateful. Then Gordon came upstairs to calmly tell me the news about the attacks in Norway. I have friends there, and my parents and sister and brother-in-law.... innocent people were killed. I prayed that their suffering was not great, that their beloveds will one day find peace as they heal, I pray for a nation experiencing sadness and shock.
I received a message from a friend that she will be undergoing surgery on Monday to remove more cancer from her body. I prayed some more. Her prognosis is very good.
We learned yesterday that there is a good chance there will be space in the The Mayo Family Pediatric Pain Rehabilitation Center at Children’s Hospital Boston starting the 8th of August for my eldest daughter. I feel relief on her behalf after nearly two years of suffering, and for my own beleaguered heart for the worry of a mother who felt compassion but could not truly understand how intense her pain has been. I am working to release the guilt for not really getting it, after so many doctors told us nothing was really wrong, her pain was unmeasurable in the usual studies, I started to believe them and not her. She was diagnosed with Complex Regional Pain Syndrome after all this time last Wednesday; two days before we found out I have new lesions. Ironically, her original injury occurred the same week I was diagnosed with MS and started my first round of steroids. The week her beloved kitty Lev (a Norwegian Forest Cat) was murdered in the woods by a wild animal behind our home. There are many strange coincidences here...a circle of suffering. It is time now to step outside of this old circle and begin a new one of healing. The new doctors feel quite sure that this program will restore her brain's perception of pain to a "normal" reading, that the tools they will teach her, the pt, to and psychological assistance will retrain the neural pathways. The doctors at Children's have always been good to us. They treat the child and family with a holistic approach, all will be well. School may start off a little bumpy if this moves into the first weeks, but after that she will have a much better year, a much better life.
I conclude with my dear friend's favorite quote and healing mantra:
"All shall be well, and all shall be well,
and all manner of thing shall be well."
--Julian of Norwich