Shine the Divine:

Creativity IS a Spiritual Practice

When we see through our hearts, we recognize that every single one of us is infused with creativity. Divine Sparks are embedded in everyone and everything. It's up to us to be courageous, to look and listen deeply, to find the sparks, gather and release them back into the universe, transformed into something new. Join me as we wake up to the sacred-ordinary blessings waiting to greet us each and every day.


Thursday, August 4, 2011

Wide Open, Ocean and Sky

A view of the ocean and sky from our apartment balcony at the seashore on our vacation a month ago, expansive and wide, it inspires me to take a deep full breath.

What a joy that is! They started me on Albuterol treatments yesterday and the difference in my ability to walk small distances without becoming dizzy, or experiencing shortness of breath is nothing less than amazing. I can make it on my own from my hospital bed to the bathroom without anyone holding my arm (although I am still closely guarded and not allowed out of bed without a nurse or LN) and back to bed without being too tippy. It is nice to be un-tethered from the IV pole and oxygen! We still don't know what is causing the dyspnea (shortness of breath) but hopefully later today all the test results will be in and maybe the mystery will be solved. I've had two more IV Solumedrol treatments while here at the hospital so won't need that at home next week. I'm very much hoping to be released from the hospital sometime today or tomorrow. We'll see.

Honestly, it has been kind of nice to have a bit of a "spa" experience here: LN's helping me bathe and even rubbing powder on my back, medications, meals and juice served promptly with smiles and without anyone whining that they are "in the middle of something Mom!" a perfectly neat bedroom cleaned every day (and every time I get up to go to the bathroom I come back and the bedclothes are magically smoothed out too). Really, having me here has eased things for Gordon and that is a relief too. It is much harder in our daily lives at home. I'm pretty much useless around the house anymore so mostly everything falls on Gordon, shopping, preparing meals, keeping up with the laundry, driving everyone wherever they need to go, working full time and helping me with things I can’t do for self care at times. It has been a bit of a "vacation" for him too this week.

I'm not so crazy about being a pincushion however; I could do without all the blood draws and bruises. But, you gotta do what you gotta do, and I'm sadly used to it, informing the phlebotomists which veins tend to be knotty and to please us pedi-butterfly needles because my veins are tiny, tired and scarred.

Last night Gordon brought in take out from one of our favorite local restaurants and we watched a movie on Netflix. It was about as close as we get to a date these days! (We only seem to go out to restaurants when I have an evening MRI scheduled in Concord, so this was an extra unplanned evening for two this summer! We did have an MRI date in May, June and another in July. So I guess we were due for a special romantic in-hospital date for August:-)

Our dear friends Becky and Alan took the girls out for the day. They've been home alone since I was admitted on Monday evening except at night when Gordon goes home. He's been able to work at a little desk in the corner of my room because they have wireless here. Anyway, the girls had a great time, helping do our laundry at our friends' house (how come they don't mind washing our laundry in someone else's washing machine? another deep mystery), grocery shopping and preparing meals to freeze to take home, picking a lovely bouquet of flowers from our friends' garden for me and bringing them to my room. It was such a lovely surprise to have them all here last night.  I was so tired earlier from the respiratory testing that I didn't think I'd be up to seeing anyone let alone in the evening. What a difference three Albuterol treatments in a day made. After this I will have four a day.

Elohai neshama shenatata bi t’hora hi
Holy One, the soul/breath you have given me is pure.

My breath has never felt more sacred than it does right now; vast like the ocean and sky. I am so grateful.

Sorry if this seems a bit of a ramble...I suppose the steroids have me a little jacked-up as I'm writing this:-)

Thank you everyone for your many prayers here on my blog, on FB and in private emails...and so many generous offers to help out from our local friends too, your kindness is so heartwarming. I feel so much love washing over me. I hope you feel it too as I return it to you, radiant and warm like the pink morning sky in the photo above.

This all makes me realize how important it is never to wait until the people you care about are ill to tell them how much you care. Tell them today. Show them at every chance you get. Don't miss an opportunity to spread your love to others, even with a simple gesture, like opening a door for a stranger or allowing them to step in front of you in line at a shop. And don't forget to smile!!!!

Life is hard; it's true, but full of blessings and goodness too. Savor the sweetness of your life, moment by moment...breath by breath...step by gentle step.


ATTENTION!! I'm home!!! No solid diagnosis exactly, but all the bad stuff has been ruled out. So they sprung me from the hospital with a long acting bronchial inhaler. Still don't know why this happened, but it is manageable with the inhaler and I can stay on the Gilenya!!!!

linking to:

Skywatch Friday


  1. Oh Laura! You never cease to amaze me. Getting to know you through the blogging world has been such a blessing for me. I am praying for you and your healing, (I was awake last night around 1:30, and you were the first person to come to my mind to pray for :) Your positive spirit is uplifting. Continue to feel better. Thank you for the reminder to let people know we love them. Bless you.

  2. I promise to savor it all. Thank you for reminding me. Tears fill my eyes thinking of all that you have been through. I'm sending you the warmest ((soul hugs)).

    With love and light,

  3. I am so glad things have eased up a bit for you Laura, and the family to of course. Good luck with the meds and thank you for your words of wisdom.

  4. You amaze me. Your take on the world (honest, open, accepting) and whatever is happening on any given day fills my heart with wonder and joy! Love and light - Jill

  5. Sigh....amazing outlook and sharing.

    My fervent wish for you is health, and to be better and better, each moment. I cannot help myself.

    My thoughts and prayers are with you. :0)

  6. You're amazing Laura and I more and more admire you!

  7. Just beautiful!

    Would you come and see my sky watch please? Thanks!

  8. I'm so glad that you are home and that they found nothing serious wrong! I've been hoping for news from you since Monday:o)

    You are so fortunate to have had such a lovely view during your vacation :o)

  9. Hooray! You're home. What a long journey. . .you are amazing. Thank you for the reminder that each and every breath is precious!
    p.s. beautiful photo too.

  10. A beautiful view to get lost in while you heal Laura. I hope you are home soon.

  11. oh this is good news - the ATTENTION! sending light and +energy your way dear Laura. rest well in your own bed tonight. take good care.

  12. oh what eyes you have
    to see a hospital stay as a 'spa'
    what a treasure you are

  13. excellent post. Thanks for the wonderful reminders :)

    Aloha from Waikiki;

    Comfort Spiral
    > < } } ( ° >


  14. Thank you, Laura.

    You continue to inspire and lift, which is an amazing feat considering what you are living with every moment.



  15. :) welcome home :) things will only get better because you are such a strong woman and giving us the strength through this blog, god bless....

  16. Sending love and good healing thoughts to you, Laura. I'm glad the albuterol is helping, but sorry you have to go through this.

  17. A beautiful and calming sky photo. Best wishes to you from me:)

  18. I'm glad you're much better now, Laura! And thank you so much for your words of wisdom!

    Take care and God bless. :-)


  19. I am glad you're home now! Take care!

  20. To see this photo it made me reflect that in all our trials and tribulations there is always hope. Happy weekend! And thanks for dropping by I do appreciate it!

    Sunset reflection

  21. Wishing you a speedy improvement. Lovely shot of the sky.

  22. Wonderful view of the sky and water
    Glad to hear that you are home Laura. God bless you! Hugs from Tania

  23. I wish you continue to improve. xo

  24. just checking in on you from here at the beach (our last day.) woke up thinking of and praying for you... glad to hear you're home and that the albuterol is helping you.

  25. Awesome view!
    Wish you fast recovery...
    Have a great weekend :)

  26. So glad you are home!

    Lovely photo - exhale, inhale, so much beauty...

  27. I am so happy to hear things have improved!

  28. Beautiful picture from the apartment balcony!
    Glad to hear you are home :)

  29. wow..beautiful photo. so calm and serene. hope you feel better soon....

  30. Good to see that you are back home!.... best wishes to you all and thank you for sharing the wonderful view (both the pic and your view on life too!)



  31. Nice view from the balcony and take care.

  32. Sometimes we desperately need a holiday, even if it is in hospital. I have spent months at a time in various ones and my veins are so scarred that only the finest needles will do.

    I am so glad you are home now and hope all goes well, I too an including you in my prayers.

  33. Laura - Glad you're doing better. I've had breathing problems for about a year and a half -- they can be scary, eh? Quite strange to be sitting and be out of breath. However, my breathing issue is restrictive due to tight intracostals (and maybe diaphragm) rather than obstructive so it doesn't respond to inhalers.

    I wish you the best with gaining stability with this challenge. Glad you're home although it sounds like you rather enjoyed the stay!

    Take care, Donna


Bright Sparks: