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Sunday, September 18, 2011
Gratitude Is Truer
“Gratitude is truer,” she said.
Invited by slight movement into the back yard, I slid the glass door open, stepped into September sun, bearing witness to a gentle breeze coaxing silk tasseled seeds to release. A whisper within encouraged me as well; “Let go. Let go.”
In that instant of awareness I saw the miracle of renewal thinly disguised as summer’s death, one season spiraling effortlessly into the next. I stood mesmerized.
In that instant of awakening I saw the miracle of renewal, thinly disguised as my own fears, hitching a ride on silken seed tails as they began to let go. I let go…at least a little.
Truer than fears that entangle my mind, and pull me away from weed seeds, wind, and sun. Simple beauty opened my heart to joy. Real, present, true.
“Gratitude is truer,” I said.
These photos were taken after a long conversation with a dear friend, in which we traded our current anxieties and offered comfort to one another by listening with open hearts. I expressed to her that perhaps it is disingenuous for me to write about gratitude so often on my blog, when in truth I struggle with fear and doubt a great deal. I don't always feel thankful. Sometimes I’m scared or angry, frustrated, confused...I write about these emotions too, still I do my best to turn it all around and write a happy ending in my posts. I search for wisdom, when I am feeling lost, I look for rainbows while inside I'm still in the midst of a storm. Then I went on to explain that I photograph moments that open me to gratitude, I write about them so I'll remember; I'm not always distressed. This is a spiritual practice; it heals me, it grounds me.
That's when she said, "Gratitude is truer. The things you and I worry about may never happen.” And we agreed, then blessed and thanked each other before hanging up the phone.