Leap Day... what a gift to have a brief time expansion! This brings me to what I need to write about today. I'll be entering blog silence starting tomorrow for a month (maybe two?) Posting images, only while working on other creative pursuits, plus a weeklong silent meditation retreat from March 26th through April 2nd, no photos at all that "tech" free week. I wrote a little about this shift in a post last week. I will still be offering the meditation circles during this time and celebrating my birthday. (How did I get to be almost 47? Wow! This feels miraculous and wonderful:-)
I couldn’t get in to see my neurologist yesterday, she is booked solid until Friday, however I already had an appointment scheduled with my internist for today anyway (completely unrelated) and so, I’m hoping he will take one look at my dramatic head twisting (visualize the movie The Exorcist…not quite 360, but you get the idea) and the MJ myoclonus moonwalk my right leg does all by itself, send me over for an MRI and if need be, (which seems pretty likely) consult with my neuro to get me started on solumedrol. Anyway, I will still enter blog silence, play with my muse when I have the energy and pray, pray, PRAY to be well enough to attend the meditation teacher training retreat at the end of the month.
It will be what it will be. I will step out of silence to post a little message at the top of the blog to let you know if I am having a true exacerbation or not once I know for sure, or whatever other mysterious "dybbuk" has entered the picture. If you have read this far down the page, thank you for enduring my little whine and attempt to find some humor in this re-turn of symptoms. Surely something good will be brought forth from all of this. I just can't live my life in a battle posture, viewing MS as the enemy, angry as I feel about it somedays. Perhaps this sounds ridiculous to some, but truthfully I feel more peace inside if I allow this disease to be a teacher, a difficult teacher yes, but a teacher none-the-less. I have learned so much about patience, appreciating life slowed down and the miracle it is that fragile human bodies function as beautifully as they do despite all the things that can and do go wrong; these and many, many other lessons. I am not grateful that I have MS, please understand, yet I am deeply grateful for the blessings that have been revealed because it is part of my lived experience.
Ok, one more thing before I enter silence (she giggles) you will be able to read one more tiny tidbit I've written @ Buddha Chick Life for the March issue, if you scroll down and click on the "Healing and Gratitude" link.