Look and Listen

 The tree looked upon me with wisdom and kindness.

He listened as I poured out my heart...

 ... and I saw his open wider.

I’ve found comfort in the woods since I was a young child. I learned to listen to my own heart amongst the trees, to truly see myself with wisdom and kindness.

I don't have to enter the forest to feel my heart open wider. It happens any moment I am fully paying attention and soften into life with love. Intuitively, every child seems to know this. Then we grow up and sometimes we forget.

Something about the trees really does help. Perhaps it carries me back to the days when I would sit in them, cradled for hours. I am deeply grateful for this time of remission in the cycle of living with MS, for the ability to take short walks amongst the trees again, even if it means I must spend the rest of the day in bed restoring my strength and nervous system. Of course I don't know how long this will last; I do know that change is continuous. So I try my best to appreciate what is happening now, NOW. Sometimes I fail at this, I lose focus, but continuous transition means I can return again to grateful awareness, and expand my heart a little bit more.

To be clear, remission for me does not mean all of my symptoms have disappeared, they come back when I am fatigued, but then become subdued again as I rest. This is not the case when in relapse; no amount of rest helps then. I still need my wheelchair now, when in large or noisy spaces. Too much external input or exertion, and my nervous system goes haywire. My last relapse was ongoing for three years. I didn’t think it was ever going to remit. It did. Every day, EVERY DAY, no matter what, is a blessing. I may be repeating myself here, sorry if I am. My kids say I do that a lot.


It has been a full and busy week preparing for, guiding, recording and editing the meditation circles. I feel very good about how things are unfolding, and once again deeply grateful to the Holy One and my doctors, to have the strength to offer these services of the heart, to all the beautiful people who have joined the circles and sit supporting one another from our homes near and far. What an amazing time this is to be alive.


(Wrote what's above this morning...now this evening my legs are cement and painfully tingly...hands too. Such a strange disease, it does just as it pleases...still, I am grateful. I had a relaxed day with my family:-)


Linking to:                                       

Live2Write2Day

Unique Exposure Challenge