Shine the Divine:

Creativity IS a Spiritual Practice

When we see through our hearts, we recognize that every single one of us is infused with creativity. Divine Sparks are embedded in everyone and everything. It's up to us to be courageous, to look and listen deeply, to find the sparks, gather and release them back into the universe, transformed into something new. Join me as we wake up to the sacred-ordinary blessings waiting to greet us each and every day.

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Wednesday, October 2, 2013

In Repose


in repose i wait
my job is simply to rest
for a little while


In repose I wait on my own yielding bed, veins plumped with herbal tea, fresh water and patience, tomorrow the nurse will come with medicine (an infusion of solumedrol) to soothe my swollen brain and ease my mind, less fretful now, knowing help is on the way after days of back and forth phone calls.

I watch golden wasps hover outside the window building a paper home that might survive the winter, educate myself; a YouTube scholar.

Faith is the courage to live with uncertainty,” I hear the retired Chief Rabbi Lord Jonathan Sacks say. Who am I to argue, I know he’s right.

Flat on my back, I look to the sky, the trees vibrant, valiant, life affirming. I’ve not felt this tired in a long time. It is good to know the world is busy being beautiful, and for a little while, perhaps longer, my job is simply to rest.




We’ll know after an MRI if this is an exacerbation (inflammation of new scars) or a pseudo exacerbation (old scars inflamed). Either way, I’m dwelling in territory I remember well. I miss my speaking voice, walking without jerking and shaking AND look at what a gorgeous autumn day this is. There are no right or wrong responses to the difficulties in our lives, confusion, fear, grief, doubt. I shared a version of the paragraph below with a friend in an email exchange yesterday:


There is abundance that feels wonderful and overwhelming, there is courage that ought not have to be drawn upon, but it is. Life is rife with sorrow and beauty, closings and openings, windows, doors, for some in the hollowing of cancer riddled bones and for others brains with empty spaces where neurons once communicated, joints that are painful because they are stiff, joints that are painful because they are too flexible, and we get to choose gratitude in the swirl, the plunge, the swell of it all, THE ALL each day, over and over again.

I was supposed to offer two meditations in the next few days, one Friday in The Healing Womb and one next Tuesday. So teaching by example instead: Rest. Notice the thoughts, emotions and sensations as they arise and pass. Remember that healing is possible. Maybe not in the way you expect, or wish it to happen, such as a "cure," still as long as we trust that it could happen, it will, in mysterious ways. Wait, watch, be present... you'll see.

Faith is the courage to live with uncertainty...” ...we get to choose gratitude in the swirl, the plunge, the swell of it all, THE ALL each day, over and over again.




linking to:


Don't forget to share the love up close with I Heart Macro, the linky opens @ 8pm EST Saturday evening. I may not have the energy to visit everyone, but I know you will visit one another.

Shine the Divine


58 comments:

  1. Wonderful...really awesome !

    Greetings

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  2. Sending you so much love and healing prayers as you wait for the answers. You are always in my thoughts and prayers, dear friend. Faith, courage, uncertainty, and patience...

    Love you,
    Deb

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  3. As always, you - even in the midst of a trying physical time - lift my spirit, transform my perspective and fill me heart with light. Thank you for shining as such a beautiful example of what it means to live fully and gratefully and joyfully - no matter the current circumstance.

    With love and light as always -
    Jill

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  4. Sending you extra white healing light and big love in this intense time. Rest well!

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  5. Laura,

    Your words say so much and help to evoke compassion in those times when it appears to be in short supply. May your rest be fruitful, your thoughts abundantly healing...

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  6. What a beautiful post, Laura, and I love the single leaf in the first photograph. Wonderful simplicity.

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  7. sending you so much love from your sister in Moving Spirit. Your words have helped me so much. Thank you for your vast hearted wisdom.

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  8. sending you so much love. From your sister in Moving Spirit. Your words have helped me so much. Thank you for your vast hearted wisdom.

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  9. Oh Laura sending you all the positive thoughts I can. And all the thanks. I'm so in awe of how you are able to find the exactly perfect words within you and share them with us even when you're not having the best of all possible days. Please don't worry about visiting...just know we're thinking of you with gratitude. And rest.

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  10. You live your life with such wisdom and grace, Laura. You're an inspiration to all who know you. I'm glad you're heeding your inner voice and resting. Now, with autumn here in all her radiant beauty, you seem perfectly aligned with nature as she, too, prepares for a time of fallow.

    Much love,
    Carolynn

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  11. Laura, thanks for the visit to my blog and your kind words were appreciated.
    I sense you have a most beautiful heart.
    I love that quote from Rabbi Sacks .

    May joy keep you.

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  12. Your words are so simple and profound at the same time. I wish you plenty of rest and healing, and thank you for sharing your wisdom through your blog.

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  13. Your job right now is to rest and you are being good and doing that.

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  14. I love singing in the choir with you. This solo was wonderful!


    ALOHA from Honolulu
    Comfort Spiral
    =^..^= <3

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  15. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
    With love.

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  16. As always, so beautifully expressed, Laura...You inspire so much! I'm sorry you're going through such a rough time. I love Rabbi Sack's encouraging words... “Faith is the courage to live with uncertainty." I know the feeling, and being there right now myself. :o) It's amazing sometimes how when our bodies are at their most vulnerable, we receive so many precious gifts and abundance. And that to be present with our illness or frialities brings grace and courage. Much empathy and LOVE being sent your way. Rest well as you take one day at a time. :o) ((BIG HUGS))

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  17. Blessings to you, as always, dear Laura. I am sorry to hear about this but am deeply touched (again, as always!) by how present and compassionate and passionate you are being with yourself. Take good care and wink to the trees for me. Love you!

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  18. Gorgeous shots! I love the fragility of the leaf in the first shot.

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  19. Dear Laura, No matter what goes on in your life, you are always inspiring to me! And the way you write and the photos you choose - just wonderful. Thinking of you as you rest and receive help! Love, Silke

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  20. Very beautiful autumnal photos,Laura!Thank you for sharing!

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  21. Beautiful photos and very beautiful writing! Thanks for visiting...

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  22. Dear Laura,
    these are wonderful photos and. I thank you for your kind words and send you warm greetings.
    Sabine

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  23. Laura, I know resting is not what you had in mind for these days. Yet, life is ordering you to be still. In doing so, thank you for being a model for us by keeping your wonderful attitude and spirituality. My heart is with you.

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  24. Thinking of you often, and sending you love. Rest well, dear one. I hope you begin to feel better again soon.
    xoxoxo

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  25. Take care Laura and I hope things are going well for you.

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  26. Dear Laura,
    thank you so much for your visit and your kind words.
    your Photos are wonderful

    Love Greetings from Germany
    Traudi

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  27. Dear Laura, I´m sorry you are going through such a hard time. Please rest and take good care! You are in my thoughts...

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  28. Your writing and photography are beautiful. I am amazed at your strength and courage through these tough times. Sending you healing energy.

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  29. Lovely serie of photos, a perfect SWF-post!
    Well done!

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  30. Autumn sky is so clear and beautiful!

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  31. Autumn sky is so clear and beautiful!

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  32. Yes, delicious pictures, very beautiful colors in the leaves, delicious Fall!

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  33. Beautiful Autumn leaves and images. Have a happy weekend!

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  34. Beautiful pics and I love your thoughts, You are my prayer list.

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  35. May the beautiful skies and autumn foliage be a comfort to you at this time Laura. I too am housebound with an MS relapse. Hubber's is getting the bird feeders all set so I can watch from my windows. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  36. May the beautiful skies and autumn foliage be a comfort to you at this time Laura. I too am housebound with an MS relapse. Hubber's is getting the bird feeders all set so I can watch from my windows. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

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  37. I love the colorful leaves against the blue sky.

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  38. Wonderful combination of nature at her best along with inspiring words.

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  39. Beautiful autumn photos and wonderful words. Best wishes!

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  40. I absolutely love that shot of the decayed leaf, Laura. It's just a pity it wasn't shot with a shallower depth of field. That would have made it stand out from the background even more...

    Sorry to hear you're going through such a rough time. Stay strong and make the most of the gorgeous moments you've given!

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  41. durch die Blätter geschaut..toll gesehen :D
    LG vom katerchen

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  42. Such wisdom Laura, thank you for sharing even when you are not feeling so good.

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  43. Magnificent photos and post ~ for SWF ~ sending you lots of healing reiki energy hugs ~ You are one courageous and enlightened woman ~ carol ^_^

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  44. Resting is such important work. It must NOT be rushed! ;)

    Unicorns

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  45. always & without fail
    i am uplifted
    here
    by your own
    Divine Spark ...

    sending you
    peace*filled Rest

    to stay still
    & look deeply around
    & out
    is where you might feel
    strong prayers & thoughts from others
    winging
    their way to you ...

    xox

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  46. A great lesson to think over the weekend and indeed beyond; reminded me of my mother's fave song that I accompany her on the piano with: Rest, rest for the weary, peace, peace to the soul.... Thanks a lot, Laura and thanks for the invitation to I Heart Macro.

    Hazel

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  47. Love and prayers to you Laura.

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  48. great words, laura, and beautiful photos!
    you've been a blessing to me.

    have a blessed weekend~

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  49. I hope you feel better soon. Take your time and have plenty of rest. Good thoughts are coming your way! <3

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  50. Great post. My best wishes are with you.

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  51. I am awe-struck by your faith! Just today in my devotional, stress was one's ability to feel joy in the midst of tumultuous times. You reflect that in a way I could not perceive on my own. I will be praying for you, dear Laura.

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  52. I am so glad I stopped by today. Thank you for the simple reminder to slow down and have courage to live with uncertainty. You know Laura, it's funny. I'm finally starting to understand what it means not to be too sad for someone, but to trust in their resilience to withstand whatever life sends them. Still, wishing you peace.

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  53. Faith is to survive against all odds, the passing over is the ultimate survival. I have often wondered why we are so afraid of that. After a long time of questioning, I have learned to dance with death rather than fearing it. We are ever only given this one moment in time so why even contemplate the what and when.
    In small measure I can empathise, I just have to miss out one of my medication for 24 hrs and I get so water logged that there is intense pressure on the brain, thinking becomes impaired and my heart can no longer cope to maintain the viability of the other organs. At such times I am intensely grateful for the beauty of this world, the falling of rain, the song of a bird, the wonder of the perfumed cyclamens on my window sill. The more often we are faced with death, the more we treasure our present existence. We are lucky in that since most people go through life without taking notice of the wonder of everything that surrounds us, from microbes to shifting continents and the universe beyond our grasp.
    I pray the medication works for you . . . love and hugs . . . Arija

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  54. that image of the first leaf is breath-taking. and your beautiful soul has moved me to tears here, thank you for that, Laura.

    '...So teaching by example instead: Rest. Notice the thoughts, emotions and sensations as they arise and pass. Remember that healing is possible. Maybe not in the way you expect, or wish it to happen, such as a "cure," still as long as we trust that it could happen, it will, in mysterious ways. Wait, watch, be present... you'll see.'

    thinking of you. sue (GW)

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  55. Your beautiful words are such an inspiration...sending you so much love, prayers and healing light!!

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