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a walk near the edge
life floats as winter recedes
memories of spring
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Sorry for the late post this week, but with the kids away, lets just say my husband and I have been enjoying having the house to ourselves, and well some things take priority over posting a link up on time. These are still photos from earlier this year.
Now that I've had three doses of IV steroids there is discernible improvement. I am less dizzy, and I am able to walk again with a steady gait, albeit slower than my normal pace. This morning with my husband, we walked our usual neighborhood route. We traveled the whole 4.6 mi loop and my back and hips didn't start spasming until we were very close to the house. It was a glorious morning and I felt safe walking that far with Gordon by my side. I knew that if I couldn't make it, I could sit on the side of the road and wait for him to go home and bring the car, but it wasn't necessary. Hooray! My voice comes and goes; dysarthric to an accent to me and then drifts back into garbled speech. I have less pain, though my muscles are still quite tight from spasticity. I have been riding my stationary bike and practicing yoga every afternoon for about two hours total, and of course I meditate and pray each morning after waking. All of this sustains and strengthens my spirit and body and is helping to regain flexibility in my limbs again. Words are still blurry making reading difficult. And a new strange symptom arose after the two-hour MRI on Thursday; I am partially deaf in one ear. We are hoping that will reverse itself soon. If not I will have to see an ENT doctor next week to see if anything can be done.
Now that I've had three doses of IV steroids there is discernible improvement. I am less dizzy, and I am able to walk again with a steady gait, albeit slower than my normal pace. This morning with my husband, we walked our usual neighborhood route. We traveled the whole 4.6 mi loop and my back and hips didn't start spasming until we were very close to the house. It was a glorious morning and I felt safe walking that far with Gordon by my side. I knew that if I couldn't make it, I could sit on the side of the road and wait for him to go home and bring the car, but it wasn't necessary. Hooray! My voice comes and goes; dysarthric to an accent to me and then drifts back into garbled speech. I have less pain, though my muscles are still quite tight from spasticity. I have been riding my stationary bike and practicing yoga every afternoon for about two hours total, and of course I meditate and pray each morning after waking. All of this sustains and strengthens my spirit and body and is helping to regain flexibility in my limbs again. Words are still blurry making reading difficult. And a new strange symptom arose after the two-hour MRI on Thursday; I am partially deaf in one ear. We are hoping that will reverse itself soon. If not I will have to see an ENT doctor next week to see if anything can be done.
I imagine I will find out the results of the MRI I
next week and if there are any lesions on my spine. I've only had them in my
brain so far. All in all I am grateful for gradual healing. I am fortunate
to have Relapsing Remitting MS and not a rapidly progressive form as some
of my friends do. I do not take this twist of fate for granted and my heart
aches for them as they loose function so much more quickly than me; once lost,
it does not return. In my case, some symptoms stay continuously while others
abate when I go into remission again. With this in mind/heart:
I just watched this film and wanted to share a link
to it with you. It is raw and real, inspiring, heartbreaking and opening. While it
is not my story, I certainly found traces of my
experiences in Jason's, both physically, emotionally and the day-to-day stuff.
Even if you are not disabled yourself, someday you will get older and getting
around won't be so easy. We live in human vessels, we are fragile, no one will
be healthy forever. I think you will be able to connect with the humility,
courage and humanity of Jason and his amazing wife Alice. I hope you will watch
it.
"Jason DaSilva was 25 years
old and a rising independent filmmaker when a diagnosis of multiple sclerosis
changed everything — and inspired him to make another film. When I Walk
is a candid and brave
chronicle of one young man’s struggle to adapt to the harsh realities of M.S.
while holding on to his personal and creative life. With his body growing
weaker, DaSilva’s spirits, and his film, get a boost from his mother’s tough
love and the support of Alice Cook, who becomes his wife and filmmaking
partner. The result is a life-affirming documentary filled with unexpected
moments of joy and humor. Official Selection of the 2013 Sundance Film
Festival. A co-production of ITVS. A co-presentation with the Center for Asian
American Media (CAAM)." ~PBS.org
When I Walk
Along with the film, there is
this fantastic project that Jason, Alice and some of their friends started that
anyone can participate in called AXS MAP (access map) Click this link to find
out what it is and how you can help people with disabilities find places to go
that are truly accessible. Believe me, I know from experience when I need
my wheelchair that lots of place are either NOT at all accessible, or say they
are and in reality, not so much. I can't tell you how many times I've had
difficulty maneuvering in a “handicap accessible” public restroom.
See the faint yet clear heart
etched deep into this emerald leaf
formed by veins pulsing with unseen life force.
For me this may as well be a map of the universe.
Unforeseen events happen continuously,
there is little we control. And still there are crossroads.
They appear just as unexpectedly, inviting us
to choose which way we will move forward.
When you come upon such
a juncture,
listen to the beating of your heart,
follow the path that you know
in your own veins to be most
compassionate and wise,
for the essence
of all being
is guided
by love.
♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥
Welcome
to Week Sixty of
I Heart
Macro
"Pure
awareness transcends thinking... It allows you to look at the world once again
with open eyes. And when you do so, a sense of wonder and quiet contentment
begins to reappear in your life."~Mark Williams and Danny Pennman, from Mindfulness An
Eight-Week Plan For Finding Peace In A Frantic World
It is time for YOU to share the love up-close with YOUR
I Heart Macro offerings!
I'm so touched by your words and I do really, really hope for your health to improve. Bless you.
ReplyDeletetake care, time together is so important
ReplyDeleteI am so happy that you were able to take that walk, Laura!
ReplyDeleteYou are truly an inspiration, my friend.
It's wonderful that you can be out walking again, I hope you continue to heal. It seems for you there is always a heart in everything in nature, perhaps you see it with your spirit.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you are feeling a bit better. I was worried you may not be well enough to post this week so I was delighted to see this post appear. Virtual hugs!
ReplyDeleteSending you lots of healing hugs ~ be well and always awesome macro shots ~ thanks, xoxo
ReplyDeleteartmusedog and carol (A Creative Harbor)
A walk in sunshine can be so healing. Glad you found the healing spirit out there in nature. An amazing, fascinating, inspiring post.
ReplyDeleteHi! Nice captures. Thanks for sharing.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure glad you're improving a little tiny bit.
ReplyDeleteWishing you many walks in the happy sunshine my dear pal
ReplyDeleteALOHA from Honolulu
ComfortSpiral
=^..^= <3
Many walks in the sunshine, pal!
ReplyDeleteALOHA from Honolulu
ComfortSpiral
=^..^= <3
Wonderful to hear that you walked that far - a real achievement! Your photos, as always, are beautiful.
ReplyDeleteI'll keep my fingers crossed for you - all the best!
ReplyDeleteYour work is beautiful makes me feel good too:) I am glad you are feeling better and getting better.
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts are with you!
ReplyDeleteYou chose my favourite for your MoM contribution. It really is rich and alive! Thank you for being part of Mandarin Orange Monday#100:)
ReplyDeleteYes, the beautiful shapes and colors achieved with those leaves! beautiful photos full of creativity!
ReplyDeleteInspiring as always Laura! Glad there is good progress with you MS.
ReplyDeleteI am so pleased for you. Your words bring healing to this one.
ReplyDeleteYes, nature is healing and God is so Good....
Continue to do all you do and be all you are
as you are an inspiration to many.
Heisann Laura!
ReplyDeleteGlad your health is upcoming, I wish you the best ...
Thank you, Laura, for sharing, I'll send you good wishes to you.
ReplyDeletegreat photos ;-))
Greetings from Germany
Traudi
Uplifting words to go with your magical images...I am so glad to hear you are finding some improvement and you inspire me to move ahead further and further...I will check out those links too!!
ReplyDeleteBeautiful words and images, Laura. Your leaf shaped poem is exquisite.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad to hear about your walk - that's a good distance for anyone:)
ReplyDeleteBeautiful images. You are good at spotting those hearts in nature!
ReplyDeleteGood to hear that you feel better :)
ReplyDeleteWhat gorgeous shots!
ReplyDeleteI am impressed you walked so far, and am relieved and happy to hear you are experiencing some improvement. May this continue. The documentary sounds very good. Humans are inspiring in how they rise to challenges. YOU inspire us, Laura. Truly, you do. Take care.
ReplyDeleteReading your blog is always inspirational to me. Your words are soothing and healing. Glad some of the symptoms are subsiding. I so admire your tenacity - I don't have a disability yet don't walk 4 miles or exercise consistently. I'll watch that movie, thanks for the tip. Take good care Laura.
ReplyDeleteVisiting from MOM...So sorry to hear of your health issues but glad they are not keeping you away from enjoying yourself. Noticing the heart in the veins of the leaf is extra special♪ http://lauriekazmierczak.com/zzzzh-impression/
ReplyDeletegreat macro shots and wonderful words!
ReplyDeletewish the best for you.
Glad you are doing some better. Lovely photos!
ReplyDeleteSuperbe post!
ReplyDeleteLovely macro pictures Laura.
ReplyDeleteLife is indeed fragile but the will power and internal strength keep it going like you are.
ReplyDeleteBeautiful macro shots! Thank for visit my blog! Have a nice day!
ReplyDeleteGreetings Helga
I find myself holding my breath as I read your posts... Yes, she is better... good.. smile.. but so many challenges.. nodding my head.. yes... I don't know if I can look at the movie but I will try.. Michelle
ReplyDeleteI'm impressed that instead of self pity you can see that others are less healthy than yourself. Your photos and your words are inspirational.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing all the beautiful pictures. Thank you even more for sharing your struggles - maybe it gives someone else some hope. Glad you got to go on a nice walk with your husband. May you continue to heal.
ReplyDeleteGreat to hear that the treatment is having the desired effect. You have strength and dignity and your creativity gives you the energy to go forward undaunted, I think. Hope the improvement to your health continues ever upward. Thanks for your visit to my blog.
ReplyDeleteGood morning Laura, I hope you are doing well today.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by and leaving your kind comment. And - yes, of course - I wanna share my Agapanthus photos with you and your friends.
The macro photographs above really bear your hallmarks - even without knowning the photographer there's agood chance to recognize your work among many others - you really found your personal style!
Have a great day - whole Germany today is in a very special enthusiastic mood because of the soccer semifinal against Brasil yesterday!
Uwe.
Dear Laura,
ReplyDeletethanks for visting my blog and your comment. Now, my post is linking here.
LG
Jutta
Such beautiful photos, and I admire your spirit Laura! Thank you for hosting...wishing you more healing on your MS journey!
ReplyDeleteI just love the birch bark photo. Reminds me of home! Glad to hear you are out and about. As always, sending healing thoughts your way!
ReplyDeleteI've been blogging slowly myself these past couple of months with the house on the market and kids now home for summer. I didn't know you had a relapse - you work out regime is better than most Americans… you really must be in great shape. Your voice and spirit are still strong, I see - as is your powerful attention to detail. I just purchased a new camera and I hope to be back her contributing soon. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteSo glad for these signs of improvement. You are often in my thoughts and prayers...
ReplyDeleteAnother great post - love the leaf images, just beautiful. Thanks for hosting Macro Monday again x
ReplyDeleteReally love what you're doing with these link ups. Creativity is indeed a spiritual activity. So grateful you choose to also participate in my link up "Reconnect with Nature" too.
ReplyDeleteBe well Laura. xx
Lovely haiku depicting the process of change in life ~ thanks, xoxo
ReplyDeleteartmusedog and carol (A Creative Harbor)
Walking near the edge can be a dangerous business, but O so tantalizing!
ReplyDeleteFrog and Raven
hope you feel better soon; have a nice weekend
ReplyDeletemuch love...
Dear Laura, I am so glad for your walk and to be able to visit you here this morning... thank you for bringing me along, for helping me to slow down enough to see that heart etched leaf... imprinted with the pulse of the universe... you are a gem in my heart Laura. Thank you. XO
ReplyDeleteyour strength and courage leave me breathless. I know of 3 very young people living with MS. they are much like you, living and doing what they are able to do on any given day. God bless you and your steadfast husband.
ReplyDeleteFantastic shots.
ReplyDeleteLovely photos... Great you're better... I wish you all the best...
ReplyDeleteSuch beautiful shots.
ReplyDeleteYou are in my good thoughts, Laura.
Poetique j adore !
ReplyDeleteThe receding of winter is a blessing indeed!
ReplyDeleteHello strong beautiful Heart
ReplyDeleteSending blessings love healing prayers.
Beautiful post. X
so much beauty, courage and strength. thank you for sharing so generously your precious wisdom.
ReplyDeletexo
Very glad to read of your respite from the MS remission. God bless you.
ReplyDelete