Shine the Divine:

Creativity IS a Spiritual Practice

When we see through our hearts, we recognize that every single one of us is infused with creativity. Divine Sparks are embedded in everyone and everything. It's up to us to be courageous, to look and listen deeply, to find the sparks, gather and release them back into the universe, transformed into something new. Join me as we wake up to the sacred-ordinary blessings waiting to greet us each and every day.

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Sunday, December 20, 2015

For Barbara... "& LOVE"


The morning after you died (which I did not yet know until  I finished teaching and Rabbi Jon told me) I saw a sign on the drive to the shul that read "& love." It was a beautiful message to share  as a gateway into leading meditation for our local kehillah on bitachon, trust in God and hishtadlut, effort. We do everything we humanly can/hishlatdut, knowing that there are some things we can't change/fix/heal. This is when the quality of bitachon is most needed, a kind of trust that allows us to rest, release, surrender to God/Mystery. A few nights before you passed, my wise nineteen-year-old daughter Rosie and I sat meditating on the Chanukah candles, knowing that you would be taken off life support in the next day or so. Watching the lights burn out one by one, I said to her, “My favorite part of witnessing the candles is the moment a flame slowly extinguishes, the wisp of smoke rises, lit by the lights of the remaining candles until it gently vanishes. I imagine death is like this. Surrounded and accompanied by the light of love, the soul quietly releases into no-thingness, leaving those left behind with beautiful memories.” She replied, “I think everything happens for a reason, even if we don’t understand it. I have noticed in my life when bad things happen, something good follows, I learn something important that I couldn’t have known otherwise.” In the moment I agreed with her completely. Then I thought, that could sound callous to someone suffering in the midst of tragedy, “Everything happens for a reason...” What possible reason could there be for you to be hit by a car, in the prime of life while crossing the street to have dinner with your daughter? And yet with bitachon/trust in God/Mystery/the workings of the Universe/Beingness, unexpected blessings DO follow. Just as the light of the candles gathered round the wisp of smoke, lighting the way, love surrounds the one who is dying, love surrounds the mourners. Keyn yehi ratzon, may it be so.



Thank you Barbara for every blessing, for all that you taught me through the years of our friendship, and continue to teach, through this process of mourning and celebration of your life. As I sat by your bedside, watching you being breathed by a respirator, I learned about strength and courage I did not know was in me. Thank you for this too. Holding your hand, feeling surges of energy, life-force passing between us, there were tears, prayers chanted, memories and gratitudes softly spoken, promises to be present for your daughters however and whenever they need a family friend, now and in the days, weeks, years to come. In the hours I spent with you at your bedside, I was surprised again and again to realize a serene smile was upon my face, held in the grace and sacredness of time outside of time, connecting soul to soul beyond your broken body, my broken heart. Now you are pure love unencumbered by physicality, free from pain, dwelling among us in unexpected moments. Thank you dear Barbara for every blessing.


I Heart Macro is on hold again…I just don't have the energy to focus on this right now. (Also I am having difficulty accessing newer photos… perhaps this is meant to be, to allow me to focus on life unfolding just as it is.)


I do hope you will participate in the Gratitude Quilt  this year. Please, please send me your patch. I have not been on top of this as I usually am due to life circumstances, including a resurgence of chronic pelvic pain from MS. So far only eighteen offerings have been shared. For me it feels more important than ever to express gratitude, the world has been so dark in so many ways. Won't you help us to spread light, to Shine the Divine through your own words of thanks? (Instructions are at the top of this blog)

13 comments:

  1. What a beautiful tribute to your dear friend. I am so sad for your loss but so in awe of your strength. Hugs to you.

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  2. From your moving tribute I learn Barbara was an excellent human being.
    Beautiful words for Barbara, are blessing us all, blessing me!
    Thank you.
    Prayers and rememberings of you!

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  3. I am so sorry for your loss. Please accept my sincere condolences.

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  4. An exquisite tribute and inspiration to all who live on the edge of a wisp of smoke ....Rest and recharge. Peace - Love and Light .

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  5. So very sad, Laura, but your words speak not only about loss as much as the mystery of life and the strength and beauty of friendship and compassion.

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  6. I am so sorry for your loss Laura, and what you are learning and sharing is so beautiful! A wonderful tribute to your friend. I wish you peace and healing in the coming days.

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  7. Thank you everyone for your kind comments. I feel awash in the ocean, riding the waves up and down. And so much love for Barbara's far courageous and amazing daughters, her sisters, friends and extended family.

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  8. Take Care and Have a Magical Holiday Season
    xoxo, Isabella

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  9. That's a beautiful post !!
    Merry Christmas !!

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  10. Hi Laura. I'm having tons of computer problems ... Things that pale compared to others, and I have much to be grateful for, but I just can't write anything for the quilt this year. Next time! Thank you for all you've done and for your meditations which I have learned so much from.

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  11. I hope your health improves and heartfelt sympathy on the loss of your dear friend.

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  12. Very sad, but also beautiful.

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  13. Lovely photos.. I hope the procedure helps your pain... Michelle

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